


J & M

by karanguni



Category: Historical RPF
Genre: 1800s Hong Kong, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-06-27
Updated: 2010-06-27
Packaged: 2017-10-10 07:17:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/97095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karanguni/pseuds/karanguni
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Historical fiction: 1800s Hong Kong, Jardine-Matheson &c.)</p><p>Correspondence between the Estimable Mssrs. James Matheson and William Jardine, now and later of the Jardine Matheson Corporation in Hong Kong, detailing in personal colours the trials and tribulations that accompany the establishment of such a Shipping Company in such a time when Her Majesty's interests are both Colonial and Economic and Diplomatic.</p><p>Mssr. Matheson, having been blessed with good birthing and more than respectable living circumstances, must be excused for his eloquence. Mssr. Jardine, having been blessed by hard living and leanness, but be excused for his frightening ability.</p>
            </blockquote>





	J & M

**Author's Note:**

> Historical fiction: 1800s Hong Kong, Jardine-Matheson &amp;c. 1066 words and a lot of banter!

_Matheson to Jardine:_

_After a Captain of the Jardine Matheson &amp;c. fleet attacked, for no reason other than perhaps too much drink, a Chinese junk in Hong Kong._

[excerpt]

WILL HE'S GONE AND DONE IT; HE'S GONE AND HIT SOME CHINESE JUNK WITH A CANNON. I TOLD YOU WE SHOULD HAVE SHOVED HIM OFF HIS BOAT AND MADE AN EXAMPLE OF IT; DAMN YOU OR DAMN US BOTH FOR HAVING COMPASSION AND IF I WRITE ANY MORE ANGRILY THE NIB OF MY PEN SHALL SPLINTER RIGHT INTO TWO AND I WILL HAVE TO GET A DOCTOR TO COME IN AND TAKE THE SHARDS OUT OF MY WRISTS, BUT ONLY AFTER I BLEED COPIOUSLY OVER THIS LETTER AS AN EXPRESSION OF MY RAGE.

[...]

Yes, I am calmer now, and no, I have not done unspeakable things to the Captain of that particular ship. He knows nothing of bilateral relations, and who's to suppose that he should? We hired him to ship opium, and hiring someone to do something illegal leads to consequences, sometimes. I just wish he hadn't done something so asinine as fire at a Chinese junk; all of it stinks of colonialism and unforced aggression &amp;c. and, please, don't write back telling me that I'm being too gleeful about all of this.

I'll handle the situation -- both the Chinese and the Captain -- and with hope we'll lose neither. I think you're wrong about Hong Kong and I intend to prove it so. We'll do well here, and for more than just smuggling. You don't like smuggling, Will! You just like money, and not even in a bad way. Cheer up. Don't work too hard.

_Jardine to Matheson:_

Dear James, am in England, please do not do anything too rash that may make us too rich in the next few months; legislation is a tricky thing and unlike you I cannot simply snap my fingers and make laws bend to my sheer will. Congratulations on making everyone involved in the last debacle eat out of your hand. When you are charming you horrify me.

_Matheson to Jardine:_

I'll horrify you sir by repeating back to you the kind of miserly back-handed compliments you pay others ...

[excerpt]

And it is not my fault that other people don't understand that smiling - as opposed to vicious condescension - is as threatening and effective a mode of negotiation as anything else you could pull out of an arsenal. They look at me and it's as if they're thinking - ye Gods it's a smiling Scotsman; he must have something up his sleeve!

[excerpt]

I miss you terribly; would you please come this way to help me set things on fire? Why are you in England in any case? Not even Canton? You can't bear to be there? I must wait weeks and weeks for my letters to get through? I've asked many questions, Will - that's how badly I would like to set things on fire, but I think you'd be rather upset at me if I did, so I shall wait, even if it pains me to see Dent and his men chatter on in the rag that they dare call a newspaper.

Also, how are you for the House of Commons? I think you will be very terrific.

  
_Jardine to Matheson:_

Dear James, you think many things.

  
_Matheson to Jardine:_

Dear Will, you should really get out of the bad habit of sending me just a single line of personal correspondence attached to chest and chests of paperwork; one gets the impression that you're trying to tell me something. I am working very hard and Hong Kong is going to be very successful and this time we won't have to make do with becoming Consuls of Canton or whatever it is you did in order to run a respectable shipping service.

  
_Jardine to Matheson:_

[excerpt]

A smuggling rig is not a respectable shipping service and I ...

  
_Matheson to Jardine:_

[exerpt]

Yes, of course not, ignoring all of the importing of good and storage and transportation of cargo and insurance and banking that we do on top of the opium; it's not as if we can provide for all of the former at good rates if we don't do something about the latter and for God's sake, don't let your conscience bleed all over mine; we're already veterans in this and ...

  
_Matheson to Jardine:_

Dear Will, they burnt 9000 chests of opium, many thousands of which were yours.

  
_Jardine to Matheson:_

I will set them on fire.

  
_Jardine to Matheson:_

Watch out for Pottinger; he's the man they're sending down and Elliot's not going to be able to control him and I don't think I'll have the time to field either your hysterical letters or your calm requests for ridiculous amounts of money should something go horribly wrong in Canton. And I had nothing to do with it.

  
_Matheson to Jardine:_

Indeed the estimable Mr. Pottinger is an enthusiastic psychopath, Will - this isn't a War, it is a Massacre, except that Elliot's still there to jump up and down and scream (very polite) invectives at the man. Her Majesty will have Hong Kong! I am very busy moving our little fleet around as though it's all a game instead of a tense military situation but something must amuse me lest I break down and come over there to drag you back down here. I am alone! Alone in this wonderful strange hell! You can't expect me not to build an empire! Especially not while waiting for you!

  
_Jardine to Matheson:_

Wait.

  
_Matheson to Jardine:_

O sir, you are so hard to obey. But because they hit you with an iron club in Canton and all you did was shrug, I am forced to obey out of sheer terror. So I wait.


End file.
